It is unsafe to have your heart unguarded and think you still have a safe haven. It is unsafe to once again open up yourself to relationships that have gotten you hurt in the past without learning and applying lessons from mistakes learned through it. It is unsafe, most of all, to let your emotions take over your sensibilities. As Proverbs 6:27 says, "Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?"
One step at a time, just one single step each day. Hurry empties the soul never underestimate the season of preparation. You'll get there too. A lot of things can change in the next few years, your circumstance today doesn't mirror your tomorrows. As long as you're persevering, you'll get there too.
Perhaps your path is harder because your calling is higher. Perhaps you need to be familiarize with pain and hardships so you'll appreciate happiness and success better. One day you'll be glad not because you're capable of doing it on your own but because His grace strengthen you and carries you every time you can't walk through life anymore. As long as you're living you are still winning.
May we all pursue what He calls us to do, and may we have the courage to liberate ourselves from the limitations we put into ourselves, from the cages that we build around ourselves, from our own toxicity, pride, and unbelief. May His love be our safe space so we can pursue what He calls us to do with pure intentions and pure hearts. Take heart!