People may attack you, criticize you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out or even walk over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you always keep your value. Frederick Imbo
Don’t take everything personally. I struggled with this while growing up, I thought it was all about me, and I often questioned my self-worth when someone hurt me. But as time went on, I started detaching myself from people’s perception about me and even my circumstances. I realized my self-worth doesn’t depend on anyone, my roles, and even my circumstances in life.
My experiences as an educator taught me valuable life lessons. When I was a young educator I would take things personally, I get offended easily, disappointed, and discouraged when I heard unpleasant words from my students and when parents complained to me, I thought I wasn’t good enough. I always measured my self-worth by other people’s perspectives about me.
One day, we had this activity and I explained all the work that they would be doing and one of my students at the secondary level ignored me and never did the work because of me. I was summoned by my head, and I later received a complaint for failing to consider his needs and failing to adequately explain the assignment. In short, it turned out to be my fault thus he never did the work. And then, he wasn’t listening to me during the previous months and disrespecting me. There were students from the lower level who would tantrums and would tell bad things about me. I would really be so sick after those events like I was so offended because my ego was hurt.
And as a lady, sometimes when someone came and made me fell in love and then just confused me afterward, or never pursued me in a way that I wanted, I get offended too. But my good friend and adviser who also studied counseling always gave me life lessons thus whenever I talk to her I get free counseling sessions. She was explaining that sometimes it’s our ego speaking up because we are selfish. We wanted to be validated by other people by proving that we are right than them and we based our self-worth already on how they treat us but our value and worth as a person should not depend upon other people.
Thus, it is better to let go of the things that are beyond your control. At times you also need to speak up and tell what you feel and if they don’t listen, it’s better to let go of those thoughts and feelings. It’s hard but it will give you peace and happiness if you learn not to take things personally.
Put down your feelings, emotions, and ego. It is hard but it will give better results, it’s like forgetting your selfish nature but still knowing your value and worth as a person. So when I was already in my third year of teaching, I learned to wear the socks that my students were wearing even if it’s polka dots and I also learned to take a stand for what I believed right instead of silencing my truth and values and to accept truths from other people too. The results, we learned all together.
And as a believer, our identity and worth comes from Christ. It’s easier to look at the external things that give us value, identity, and worth as a person. Sometimes we find ourselves valuable and worthy when we are at the peak of our success when everyone applauds us, and when everyone recognizes our talents, skills, and potentials. Sometimes we find it in our roles and our circumstances and even in relationships. Thus when everything falls apart we find ourselves lost, purposeless, and meaningless. But the Bible tells us who we are in Christ and we should take this personally because this weighs the most.
If you have relationship with Christ and you accept him as your personal Savior, your identity is ultimately based on what God has done for you. In Christ, you are loved and pursued, forgiven and not condemned, you are seen, valued, and cherished. You are chosen, redeemed, and adopted. In Him, you were created for a purpose. May you see yourself as God sees you. Liberate yourself from lies, false belief, selfishness, and world views.
Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus so we will always be reminded of who we are in Him.
“You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”1 Peter 2:9, NIV
“If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV
“We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”Ephesians 2:10, NIV
“You are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his householdEphesians 2:19, NIV