In order to learn what it means to be a woman. We must start with the One who made her.
Elisabeth Eliot
Elisabeth Elliot is one of my favorite authors who ignites my mind about womanhood. Our generation might be different now but her perspectives and experiences about womanhood are the standard. It goes beyond the surface. The ways she talked about the roles of a woman, the way she viewed and experienced suffering, and the way she emphasized love and purity.
Though we're living in this era where we have equal rights to men but let's admit that we have limitations as a woman. Our femininity fills some gaps in this world as well as the masculinity of men. Both have different purposes to participate in the human race. Hence, femininity varies in different cultures and places.
Some of us are soft-spoken, gentle, and quiet while others our outspoken, firm, and loud. We are all different hence the intricate pattern of our soul is almost alike. Deep down we want to be valued, cherished, and protected. Hence there are some who will use their masculinity to take advantage of our femininity thus we should be careful.
We all want to be pursued in the right way and if we grow up in a Christian community, there are sets of rules on who should we date, why, and how-kinds of stuff. It's just there to protect us from heartaches and to remind us so won't compromise our values and beliefs. It's kinda hard for Christian ladies at times cause you know most of the time we're surrounded by different men who have different beliefs and values, and we need to take a stand for what we believe in. But actually, I realized that shouldn't be an option.
Therefore, even though you both profess to be followers of Christ, you are not necessarily equally yoked. As my advisers frequently advised me, you should really just let God works, refrain from letting your emotions or feelings rule your decisions, and avoid focusing on someone, you can pray but don't fixate, especially if clarity and assurance are lacking. Simply make new friends and develop sincere connections.
I remember in Passion and Purity Elisabeth mentioned, "Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he claim to her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention? If, when the time has come for a commitment, he is not man enough to ask her to marry him, she should give him no reason to presume that she belongs to him." In the same manner, as a woman, it's the same thing too. Don't fixate on anyone.
It's not degrading their masculinity but we should not allow those kinds of men to treat us that way like we're not sensible enough if we allow them to give our attention even if there's nothing happening around, it's a waste of time, unless they communicate and really clarify things. In the same manner to us ladies, sometimes we heightened our femininity like "I deserve this 'cause I am like this, or I am a woman." We don't need to prove our value and worth because that's how God made us, its part of our identity as His child.
Womanhood is hard like we're waiting for the right man to pursue us in the right manner. We all want genuine connections, real ones but in this generation, it's really hard. Hence, there are still good and great men out there, who will go beyond the norm and it's vital to do a heart check too, "am I the woman that God wants me to be?"
Indeed, reading old books would enlighten you about certain aspects of life.
Trust the Great Author, so let's just embrace our femininity and this season of waiting and praying.
