a decade

I can't imagine being a teenager in this digital age wherein trash talks make someone cool,  brassière becomes an outwear, flirting becomes a hobby and a past-time, lying becomes too hip, arguments sell, pornography scattered around and available for everyone, sending mean and hurtful comments seem a norm, cancel culture, vanity culture, and perfectionism. Looking around everyone seems perfect in the facade of social media. It just saddens me whenever my disciples talk about their teenage life in this generation, particularly with the advent of these different platforms. Indeed, we need to be cautious; garbage in, garbage out.

Ten years ago I was fifteen; a freshman student trying to figure things out. Scribbling poems at the library when I get tired and confused, always writing in secret. My life was just quiet back then, I was worrying if I would finish the school year, family problems, and my personal issues. I was confused before because I wasn't that loud like the others and I lost energy whenever I was in the crowd, I didn't want big events, when we had visitors before I would literally jump out to bed and stay in the room. I never thought that I was just an introvert because we were not well educated about different personality types until we had psychology subjects. I really got hooked on it and read about introversion. I think most of my readers here are introverts too, right girls? My quiet supporters.

Someone would ask me, "Why are you so quiet?" tapos I won't forget this someone told me, "Imik kahit mali!" Why? I mean why would I talk just for the sake of talking? But my friends know how loud and crazy I am as a person, my closest friends. I understand those young ladies, we are not trying to be mysterious to get attention. We don't like the spotlight and attention, we love our internal world. Yet at times some misinterpret it and make fun of us. We really prefer to sit in silence, to read, and to write. We value solitude, tranquility, and calmness.

And to those ladies out there who experience this stuff, we can still make a difference; we don't need to be loud just to be bold. Our imperfections and weaknesses don't hinder God's perfection, mighty, and power in our lives. God can still use us. Just like a good mentor once said, "Come as you are but don't stay as you are," don't hinder your growth, allow failures, rejections, hurts, and sufferings to mold you into the person He wants to become.

We can still serve our God even if behind the curtains and the spotlight. Just like John Piper said, "It's amazing how many introverts go into the ministry. It's amazing how many people go into the ministry who don't really like to be with people." Just show up, you'll never see how amazing our God works if you never allow yourself to get out of your cage. I was once in that space too but as I begin to know God on a much deeper level, I realized I am serving Him so I don't need to be afraid anymore. He always strengthens me.

So if you feel stuck in the cage take that one step to move forward, one step at a time. You'll never discover who you are until you discover who really God is. Seek Him first, meditate on His Word, and come into His presence until all those layers of fears peel one by one and you'll be ready for a greater purpose. You are created for His glory and you have a purpose here.

By His grace, we'll make it.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord nor of me his prisoner, but share insuffering for the gospel by the power of God who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.

2 Timothy 1:7-9

Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honoroble use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:21-22

Published by Merrel Ya

A lady who has been pondering her hope into Christ, inhaling His grace, and enjoying the beauty of life. Writing about life, asking God about "kuliglig sa kanyang dibdib."

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