Holidays, these days are not the same as they were when we were young. Fears start to chase us like a wildfire, and we find ourselves wondering if we'll end the year right. We become obsessed with our achievements, growth, and relationships; constantly evaluating ourselves to see if we've done enough.
At times, we are confident along the way, enamored of the season, finding beauty and purpose. However, at times, invectives fill us with boundless terror and dismay. Life becomes harder each day. We are terrified of certain dreams that seem so uncertain and too far from the table. We feel sickening loneliness while waiting for a companion. The continual threat of inflation rate and the ticking of the clock send signals that we are not getting any younger, which makes us feel like we are stuck in adult misery and terror.
But sitting down for a moment, enjoying the freedom, lying down on the grass, and inhaling the aroma of the fresh air under the puffy clouds and blue sky keep me aware of His goodness, I'm living by His grace, not because of myself but because His breath continues to fill up my lungs. Nothing fancy, a commonplace, a mundane day, and a simple walk.
Walking in faith and not by sight is not an easy task. To find reasons to hold onto God's promises requires a great deal of patience, faithfulness, and obedience, and a surrendered heart. In a culture that measures worth in different ways, it's a constant struggle to let go of things that we think are valuable. However, taking one step each day reveals God's desires and plans for our lives. Slowly but surely, God reveals Himself to an imperfect and flawed person like me.
My sense of entitlement as a believer who grew up in faith and has seen miracles has overwhelmed my heart. I have struggled with pride, selfishness, and self-reliance, often thinking that God must make me succeed in all my endeavors. I have tried to control everything and figure things out on my own hands. However, God is a good father. He wants the best for us, but sometimes challenges us to grow and change. He also helps us overcome our selfish desires, even if it requires breaking us and causing us pain. Through this, we can experience healing that soothes and heals our deepest wounds. Ultimately, this leads us back to Him, and we desire Him more than anything else.
A year ago, I found myself caught between a rock and a hard place. Adulthood brought its own share of terrors and miseries. I never thought that these obstacles would inspire me to write the stories that lay hidden within me and to pursue my passions with renewed vigor. Even though I felt empty and weary, I found grace once again. I found my Safe Haven, the one who never stops pursuing me, loving me, forgiving me, and correcting me. My Jesus my Lord and Savior, the lover of my soul.
Sometimes during difficult seasons, it can be easy to feel lost and unsure of what to do next. Perhaps what you need is to take small steps of faith each day, finding comfort in the mundane and ordinary moments. As you continue to do this, you will eventually step into a new season of life, one where you are more courageous, hopeful, and surrendered than you were before.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For,
”In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay. And, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.”
But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.
Hebrews 10:38-39
