I know how much you struggle. I know how you try to hide your wounds in the past, the words that you couldn't utter, and all your mumble cries. I know how much you want to be seen, to be loved, and to be protected by someone greater than you.
Yes, I've seen how you unloved everything about yourself, thinking that you were unlovable because of the worst things in the past. I've seen how you tried to cover all your insecurities and anxieties while growing up. All the lies in your head crept into your whole being, and you couldn't even run from them. I've seen and heard you beloved.
But now while gazing at your eyes, I am happy that God sees you amid confusion and rejections. By His power, Jesus heals every pain and thorn in your heart, His grace brings inner peace and joy. I am happy that you're not in haste and finally embrace the season of healing and resting in Him. There's no more shame, anxieties, and fears. Take your time to know Him more and surrender all your weaknesses to Him.
You don't need to hide all your wounds and scars from Him, it's real that He loves you for who you are, even if you're in the desert, valley, or mountaintop. He's not looking at your victories or defeats before He loves you. He loves you more than you could ever imagine because He is love. So you can also love yourself the way He loves you, the way He chooses you, and the way He cares for you. He even gave His begotten Son "Jesus" so you will be saved and have eternal life with Him. Jesus raised and overcame death, so He can also raise your dying hopes; just rise above it with your lil' faith.
Yes, the hardest person to love is ourselves. But please, love yourself wherever you are even in the midst of wilderness because He first loved us and He's with you 'till the end of time.
I pray that whenever and wherever you see yourself, you'll see the grace of the Lord. You'll be reminded that you are seen, loved, pursued, protected, and forgiven by Someone greater than anyone else here in the world. Stop listening and dwelling on the lies that Satan continues instilling in your mind and your heart. Remember His promises whenever you hear curses, remember His love whenever you feel unlovable, and remember His forgiveness when the enemy reminds you of your sins. Continue going back, running, and dwelling in His presence, by meditating and digesting His Word.
I was reminded of these verses when I thought I was all alone fighting with those insecurities.
You are precious to me, you are honored and I love you.
The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
2 Tim. 2:11
You then my son be strong in the grace that is in Jesus Christ.
Remember His love, His mercy, and His grace.
You are loved, you will bloom even in the wilderness just stay rooted with His Word.