To my mentor,

I know you won't read this anymore and you're in the most incredible place now. You already finished the race, pas! The last moment with you was still remarkable and heartbreaking. I am hoping that I was not there to see you in great pain. I know there's a purpose, it's not an accident. I could still remember the day that you're losing your strength in just a snap, like how could possibly it happen? You're so strong and in just a few minutes, you lost your strength. I was asking the Lord, why it happened so fast, but who am I to question His ways? Indeed, life is fleeting. Today we're here and tomorrow we may be gone.

You know what those hard moments with you are making sense right now. Your tough love makes us stronger now. That's the reason pala why you trained us so hard because life and the journey here are so hard yet life is still beautiful because we can still rejoice in the Lord.

You're right that I should be more courageous because serving Him won't be easy, there would be a lot of stones flying around the corner. Battles that actually belong to the Lord, some are not worth fighting for. You're right that it's okay to be misunderstood and not to desire to please others but instead desire to please Him alone.

You know what, I make a lot of mistakes now I'm not afraid anymore to get out of my comfort. I know you will get mad at those mistakes but I know you'll be glad too because your lady is trying to be better and trying to stand on her convictions.

All the lessons that you impart are now resonating. All those experiences are now being published and you know what they minister still to others. Sometimes, it's overwhelming but I am trying. That's why pala you appointed me to keep the minutes, to look for the details, to write for what I observed, to listen intently, to speak out my mind, to revise when it's necessary and to remain faithful. Remember, I was complaining to you because I didn't see the sense of all of the tasks you were asking me to do and telling you that I would quit. But now, it makes sense.

You're right too that love comes when you least expect it and we shouldn't be afraid but we should be careful not to compromise our values, beliefs, and convictions. You already blessed us before and I know all of us your disciples will find the right person at the right time. And just like what you're saying it's better not to have one if it would not lead us to the Lord.

You're right too that we should not neglect the next generation, the youth. You know that some of them are in the ministry while others were already baptized. But still, there are a lot of things to work on, we're actually preparing and praying for a new pastor.

Everything is a new season for me pas. I already finished the hard season of teaching but I know the next season would be harder, but I couldn't wait for the lessons, failures, success, and new stories ahead. We're preparing and trying for new things but it's all for His glory. You're right pastor that we should be faithful even in the smallest things because there's fruition in it and we should serve even if behind the curtains and the limelight. Kaya mo pala kami sinama kung saan-saan so we can meet different people and we could see that this world is so big - there's so much more ahead of us.

And the breaking and the Lord's discipline are better than regrets. He always protects us. Indeed, the Lord desires success and fulfillment in our lives.

We always miss your tough love, back rides, life lessons, painful rebukes and corrections, and the aroma of the coffee. That's your pamana to us- all of us are now into caffeine, and we couldn't stop, you brainwash us that it's healthy! HAHAHAHAHA!

Just like what you often told us, "Huwag mong naisin ang palakpak ng tao kasi iyan ang sasampal sa'yo, naisin mo ang palakpak ng Diyos at iyan ang magtataas sa'yo. At kung hindi ka maglilingkod ngayon ay kailan pa? Natapos na ang kahapon, papatapos na ang ngayon at magsisimula na ang bukas. At kung maglilingkod ka rin naman aba ay upuan mo na, galingan mo na, sa Diyos ka naman naglilingkod at hindi sa tao dahil sa huli ipagsusulit mo ang ginawa mo sa Diyos dito sa lupa. Eh ano kung mayaman ka, magaling ka, marami kang achievements dito sa lupa pero di mo naman madadala iyan sa langit. Kaya nga gawin mo lahat para sa Diyos, walang taong nagsisisi noong tinanggap nila si Hesus."

Pursue what ignites your soul, surely you'll find it and make sure to bring glory to HIM.

Take heart!

We'll make it by His grace!

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart,and with all your soul and with all your mind.

Matthew 22:37

Published by Merrel Ya

A lady who has been pondering her hope into Christ, inhaling His grace, and enjoying the beauty of life. Writing about life, asking God about "kuliglig sa kanyang dibdib."

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