It is therefore vital for you to understand that being single- separate, unique, and whole- is most essential to, and the foundation of, not only marital relationships but all relationships. Myles Munroe
Not because everyone is getting into a relationship it means you also need to be. I understand you when you’re in your twenties you might feel that you’re ready to get along with others and to pursue commitment. But my mentors always tell me to pray and seek the Lord first, pour out my heart’s desires to Him, and consult Him first. Take it slow, beautiful things take time.
We “ladies” are sometimes driven by our emotions, there are days when you might feel so lonely but actually, you’ll just have your period LOL. We are wired for relations, to connect to each other, and to relate. We need other human beings too. We need the masculinity of men hence they should not be our source of strength, fulfillment, joy, and security.
In Erikson’s Eight Stages of Psychosocial Development, as we begin to reach adulthood we start to explore ourselves more intimately with others. We seek relationships that lead to longer commitments to someone other than a family member. Thus, your feelings are valid; it’s either you pursue intimacy or isolation according to this theory.
But it’s necessary that you know your identity first, I think many people jump already in this stage without surpassing the prior stage which is knowing your identity. It’s in the fifth stage which is Identity vs. Role Confusion. In this stage, you have the time to examine who you are. Children that are unsure of their beliefs and desires in this stage would be afraid and puzzled in their future. Others may give you your identity, like validation from other people or you might be easily swayed and influenced by the people around you. Thus you need to find your identity first.
You won’t find your identity in your dream guy even if they seem so perfect. Growing up in a society where men seem like knights in shining armor in every telenovela, made us believe that they can save us from insanity. They won’t save you or satisfy your desires, longings, and dreams only Jesus can fill that. Only God can fill the void inside your heart, He’s the creator so He’s the only one who can define you. You are loved, pursued, and greatly appreciated by God, thus He gave Jesus Christ, his only begotten son to die for your sins so you will have eternal life. He will be your partner and He will satisfy your soul. He will give you peace that surpasses understanding while you’re waiting for the right man He prepares for you and He will prepare you to be the woman He wants you to be. So you can also love him and serve him as Christ loves us.
So right now enjoy your season, maybe this season is still a preparation. Seek the Lord first so you’ll discover who you are in His eyes, that you are so worthy and He called you beloved. Date yourself often, go for a walk, and enjoy solitude. Learn from relationships with other people, and talk to married couples. Pray for your future spouse if you desire and you’re ready for a commitment. But your life is not only about finding the right man it’s about glorifying Him even without him and being joyful in the season you are in.
God knows who you need in your life. Take your time.
Let’s be faithful and joyful in our season. Keep the faith!
You are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.Isaiah 43:4, NLT
In this love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.1 John 4:9