Safe space

Your safe space should start in you. You should always give yourself space for failings and success, for your imperfections and limitations, space for excellence and growth, space for generosity and forgiveness, space for love and belongingness, 'cause if you are having a hard time giving to yourself, it's harder to share yourself to others. If you're living in lies in yourself, surely it will overflow. If you're filled with love, surely it will overflow too. Give yourself a favor, choose the best for you, and choose love itself.

I love dating myself and venturing into the intricate pattern of my soul. I love having awareness of my imperfections, limitations, and insecurities and striving to be a better person instead of putting layers to them. I love celebrating now my small wins and forgiving myself for my mistakes and failings. I love myself better and I find it easier to love others as well, and it's easier now to leave hunted places and souls, -darkness.

Hence, it's so hard for me to welcome new people into my space, my quiet space, but I realized it would be better to welcome others and I am happy because journaling made it possible for me to break all the walls I build around myself. To all ladies out there, my sissy, thank you for allowing me to venture into this new space. It's like playing in the rain even if it causes me to have a fever.

I just hope my stories and poems uplift and may you always find beauty in life.

As I walked down in the mall these artworks mesmerized me yesterday. I was just amazed at how painters paint, how it is so possible to turn a blank canvas into a beautiful painting with deep meanings and stories, how they combined the colors, add shades and hues, and give life to them. It gives me so much motivation to allow myself to give life to these dreams inside my heart, to persevere, and to pursue them wholeheartedly.

I think great people from different fields give their best in every shot. I once heard this, "if you will do something, make sure to do it wholeheartedly." If you will write poems and there's so much hesitation inside you and you need to ask for suggestions from other people, don't write it anymore. Publish it when you are so convinced with your own voice. If you want to pursue a dream or a person and you need to look for signs and wonders, you need to ask opinions from others, and never pursue those desires anymore if you're half-hearted, if love is not your driving force just leave them at the corner.

Love is a natural state of heart. It is supposed to be liberating, giving, enveloping, freeing, and long-lasting. It is constant and truthful. If it does not come from love itself, just get rid of it. I once heard this, "love is the most infinite and effortless presence in the world." Love is peaceful itself. And you should also give it to yourself so you can pour out love in every lil' thing you're doing because without love everything is meaningless.

I do have many fears back then as I wrote this book, I felt so unqualified, so little, and so limited with a lot of things. But I realized, writing ignites my soul. I love writing and I want to write not for popularity, not for likes and attention, and not even for money, I love writing itself and even if I keep not wanting this anymore, there's a fire inside of me burning my soul if I would never write again. I don't want to kill my soul for not pursuing and abandoning what it says. I don't want to live with regrets because I'm just afraid. I want to chase and pursue what my soul mumbles and screams, and I know it's His voice. I don't want to hide beyond the walls, I just want to kick all the walls around me because I realized if there will be just one soul who will be saved, who's gonna liberate from fears, doubts, and insecurities, I think He will surely be glad. Just one soul for His kingdom until it reaches to hundred souls. I just realized my task is just to obey Him and the results are already at His hand.

It's just overwhelming that everything He created is out of love and I felt ashamed of Him if I don't have pure intentions like Him, if my driving force is different from His ways, I just want to pour out love in every lil' thing I will be doing instead of fears and doubts.

May we all pursue what He calls us to do, and may we have the courage to liberate ourselves from the limitations we put into ourselves, from the cages that we build around ourselves, from our own toxicity, pride, and unbelief. May His love be our safe space so we can pursue what He calls us to do with pure intentions and pure hearts. Take heart!

Published by Merrel Ya

A lady who has been pondering her hope into Christ, inhaling His grace, and enjoying the beauty of life. Writing about life, asking God about "kuliglig sa kanyang dibdib."

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