We all need to be aware of our personal calling. What is a personal calling? It is God’s blessing, it is the path that God chose for you here on Earth. Whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend. However, we don’t all have the courage to confront our own dream.
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Writing has been like airbags to me since I was young, though I never knew it would become such a big part of my life. It changes me in ways I cannot explain. I have always hoped to love someone as much as I love writing. My passion for it has only grown deeper as time has passed. I remember the notebook where I used to compile my poems. I dreamt of becoming a poet when I was younger, but as I grew older, it became just a pastime. I buried this dream, and those stories became dusty inside the closet of my soul. I kept them hidden until I forgot about them.
I had been hesitant to pursue my passion for writing, thinking that it wouldn't be worth the effort since I believed that nobody would be interested in my work. I felt ordinary, invisible, and uninteresting just like what I saw in the mirror. Despite this, I still longed for something or someone to reignite my creative spark. Each day felt like a cycle with me, a grown-up adult, trying to find my way in life, eagerly waiting for a breakthrough, and unsure of what I truly desired.
One day, I decided to leave my comfort zone and give writing another chance. I was hesitant at first, but I eventually started scribbling the stories inside my soul, including my deepest desires, fears, and dreams—with or without any readers even with my empty hands. Finally, I listened to my heartbeats that I had suppressed for so long, and they echoed through the walls of my bedroom and resonated in my space, in different time zone and until they reached someone else.
I took a photo of myself and was amazed at how beautiful I looked in it. It was the first time that I had seen my soul shine in a long time. It was also the first time that I loved the person I had become.
And right now, I have the courage to pursue my dream. I have the courage to delve into the world of impossibilities, and walk on the path that I deeply desire. I will pursue it even if no one believes in me yet. I will chase it even if my feet tremble and my words stutter. I want to write as if there's no tomorrow. Even though writing creatively cannot feed me yet, I still crave it because it gently feeds my soul. It is a fire burning deep inside my soul that even my worries burn like a piece of cloth when I start writing. And honestly, I feel closer to God whenever I write. It feels like He's sitting beside me, brushing my hair, telling me I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, tapping my shoulders when the weight of the world is heavy, and reminding me that He carries my burden so well. He wipes my tears when words miserably fail.
I looked back at this book I wrote, and I realized that I wrote it with Him; my personal cries, my lamentations, my desires, and my worship.
So when my oxygen suddenly depletes again, I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to look back in a few years and wish that I had pursued my dream and personal calling. For me, that dream is writing. I feel so alive whenever I write and it feels incredibly freeing. Although obstacles will undoubtedly arise, there may be times when the warrior inside me falters. Nevertheless, I know that the One who is with me can conquer any challenge, any fear, or anyone who tries to bring me down.
We who fight for our dream, suffer far more when it doesn’t work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: “Oh, well, I didn’t really want it anyway.” We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
I'll be turning twenty-seven in a few months and I've come to the realization that life passes us by in the blink of an eye. At times I may act immature, crying over small things, laughing so loud with corny jokes, stumbling while walking like a child, and enjoying simple pleasures like swings and surprises. Not too long ago, I started posting on a free WordPress account, with only five to ten readers a year. I was just exploring and trying to find my way. I wrote my journals with the hope that they would serve as a legacy for my future children to read, and that my letters would reach the person who would be the details of my poems. But now, I hope that my writing can remind others that they are not alone in their struggles, and that they can pursue their own unique paths in life; (just like you guys who have been reading my journals) the arena and the zone that is meant for your footprints alone. So take that one step!
Let's do it one step at a time!
