Day 365/365
You did great! You conquered the year. Those mundane places and ordinary days, those painful weeks, those heartbreaking days, those joyful months, which lead you to this whimsical year. Those uncertainties prove that God remains certain and faithful. You are just so afraid of not knowing what the future holds but that life is, you just need to show up and keep going.
Breathe deep! Inhale and exhale. Tonight is the last day of 2022! It was a heartbreaking year for me, from getting out of my comfort zone and trying to figure out and write the next page; to heartbreaks from close friends, ministry, profession, family, pressure around, fears, and unbelief. But above all, I realized when you believe in God, you will have peace that surpasses understanding and shut all the worries, fears, and doubts. God carries me throughout all those days. I couldn't explain and I don't even understand how He works in my life this year. It's just a matter of faith.
He allows me to experience madness so I would realize that life is all about Him, it's all about Jesus. I met the most broken version of myself not knowing God is peeling all those layers of unbelief in my life, those doubts that are creeping. He wanted me to focus on Him alone, to write about His goodness, to pray, and to seek Him more than before. He taught me to love the parts of me that I don't like. I also realized that I am allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. I am also allowed to say NO.
I also learned not to depend happiness on anyone, you can be happy on your own. You can create happiness and transcend it to other people. You can use your creativity and inspire yourself and others. You can buy yourself a gift, chocolate, and flowers and date yourself often. You don't need to wait for someone to make it happen. Don't use anyone because you're just lonely.
If you are searching for love, look around and you'll see the people who constantly love you for who you are, who constantly showed up in trying times even you're hard to love. Now that I am growing up, I appreciate more my parents who are always there for me. They are imperfect people yet they never turn their back on me, they love me for who am I, even though they don't say it often. I know in my heart that their actions speak louder.
I am afraid to disappoint them because they trust me. I want to honor them while they're here and give everything while I can. My father is a good provider and hardworking while my mother is so faithful and patient even though life is so hard. Even though there were heartaches from the past, I am glad now that they remain together and they inspire me in many ways. God is so great. He is our healer.
We don't have a grand celebration of welcoming the upcoming year. Hence, I am grateful that I am surrounded by my family right now. We're still complete, healthy, and at peace. For me, this weighed the most.
I am looking forward to the upcoming year with faith, hope, and love. I believe God will do immeasurably things that I couldn't imagine to strengthen my faith in Him, to love Him more, and to seek Him more. I am ready to venture into an unfamiliar place, meet new people, and face uncertainties. I am certain that even if my plans failed, He will reveal His greater plans for me.
He has greater plans for you as well.
I am closing now this chapter with a grateful heart knowing He's with me all along.
God can do immeasurably things more than we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.
Ephesians 3:20
