I am so excited to go home today, God really knows our hearts and He answers right on time.
We had a brainstorming this afternoon, full of hopes and dreams. Deep talks about life, and struggles in the ministry. I am enjoying this season, with twists and turns yet full of meaning and purpose. I am favored to have women on my side who I looked up to and who helped me throughout this new season. We had an unexpected conversation with one worker in the ministry, there are a lot of heartaches when you are really serving the Lord.
He was explaining that life is all about Jesus. He said that it would be a hard fight to pursue his ways and to love others unconditionally. They are having a hard time in decision-making about certain things in the ministry and he was telling that sometimes because we want to prove that we’re right, we forget to love. That’s the problem that it’s so hard to resolve according to him.
I can see his fervent passion for the Lord but at the same time, his weary eyes in shepherding the flock. His hard work, passion, and commitment are undeniable but we can also see the disappointment on his shoulder. He said that it’s hard to understand different kinds of people, with different backgrounds but his love for the Lord never stops him from serving.
I understand him as a teacher, it’s hard to relate and it’s easier to judge others based on what we just know about them. Working with different kinds of students taught me the value of empathy- wearing the socks they are wearing even if it’s polka dots. I remember one of my students didn’t want to use color on his poster and I was so irritated because it was poster making, it should be colorful. He wasn’t talking but at every activity, he was like that. I sat with him and conversed intently asking him the reasons why he didn’t want to use colors. And with his downcast eyes, he told me because life is sad and he never met his dad. Until he was in third grade when he started using colors. I had many of those moments, moments when I wanted to prove that I am right instead of looking at what was inside of the person, seeing a soul- a person with feelings, emotions, and baggage.
He answers right on time. Yesterday, I was in doubt and I felt blue because of what’s happening lately. I didn’t want to write because I was looking into myself, my weakness. I was so afraid of other people yet I realized today when the pastor said, “follow Jesus and let others know Him even if in your weakness because we have limitations but He’s working on us, He’s changing us for the better so He can use us for every good work. Even if you don’t have the position, you can still serve in whatever gifts and skills He entrusted to you. Sometimes we’re so focused on the things that really don’t matter that we’re forgetting the lost souls outside because we tend to look on the inside. ”
Like it was the Lord, he didn’t even know that I was demotivated in this ministry but our unexpected meeting was the answer to my doubts and my fears. I never thought that writing could be a ministry too, that the purpose of this is to remind other people that they are seen, loved, valued, and pursued by Someone greater and stronger.
We have Jesus, who understands us deeply and who cares for us, and would help us to become like Him, having Christlike character who loves others abundantly without judgment, condition, and limitations. He understands us and He’s our greatest protector. He gives us a purpose and meaning here.
If you’re doubting lately like me, afraid of criticisms and judgments of random people, take heart beloved. Listen to the One who asks you to do it and He will give you enough strength and courage to accomplish the tasks he asked you to fulfill. You don’t need to prove to others you’re already approved by God, His opinion about you matters the most because He knows you better.
Stop dwelling in those lies, look upon God. He understands you.
So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear not therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So everyone who aknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven, but whoever denies me before men, I will deny before my Father who is in heaven.HAVE NO FEAR, MATTHEW 10:26-30