Growing up is kinda hard, I mean really hard. I just realized it now that I'm in my mid-twenties like when everyone around you seems so far away already. There are just moments like this when I felt so alone like I need to figure out all these things by myself. I love to do things on my own, I decide for myself too, and I try to venture into the things that I want to, but times like this would really come when I just get tired of being used to it and I don't want to suppress it now. There are days like this when you're not strong enough to keep going and to keep believing. It seems there's no one to turn to. Indeed, people come and go.
Yet this morning as I read 1 Samuel- God reminded me that He remembers me, like the way He remembers Hannah's prayer. Hannah was deeply distressed about not having a child for years for the LORD had closed her womb. Hannah's desire for a child intruded upon and spoiled her opportunities to worship. Hannah prayed with great emotion, weeping, and moving her lips.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”1 Samuel 1: 10-20
The LORD remembered her, the LORD understands us "woman." I remember the story of Sarah, Rachel, the wife of Manaoh, Samson's mother, Elizabeth- they were all barren, then the LORD granted their desires. Remember Ruth, Hagar, Rahab, and Esther- God took notice of them. Other ones are the Samaritan woman in the well, the bleeding woman, the adulterous woman, Mary of Bethany, and many others. In a time when females were considered inferior to men and treated less than a person, Jesus cherished and valued them.
Yes, we're already in this digital world and their stories might not be like ours but the intricate pattern of our souls are almost alike. We want to be valued, cherished, and protected. It's part of our femininity and it's okay to admit this vulnerable part of us even the "strong independent woman" gets tired and lonely too. And don't feel bad if you feel those emotions, let them and slowly let them go. After all, God satisfies and meets all our needs.
He sees you, He cares for you, and He always protects you. God loves you so much!
Try to listen to this song, it makes my heart sing. God is always there for us. Beloved, you're not alone.
Goodnightyyyyyyyy mga sis! He's a great lyricist and singer!
dear child, please believe the thoughts I have for you will never change or fade away...